THE X FACTOR UK 2010 “Judge’s Houses: Auditions” Review

X Factor Judge's Houses 1

Finally! The auditions are over and the final 32 are heading to the judges houses for The X FACTOR. In Australia the boys meet Danni Minogue who will be their mentor. The Overs get Louis and they go to Shannon in Ireland. At least this year it’s not Monaghan. That was horrifying. Though I feel bad for Mary Byrne not getting to go anywhere but the land of Saints and Scholars. They seem politely enthusiastic about getting Louis. The groups have Simon and they’re far more enthusiastic to get Simon instead of Danni and Louis. Of course the best judges are Simon and Cheryl.

The girls are given Cheryl and they’re to be co-judged by will.i.am. Natalie Imbrugulia is Danni Minogue’s doppelganger. Sinitta returns as Simon’s right hand outfit. Sharon Osbourne-who looks like Joan Rivers’ silicon sister-is guest judging with Louis.

The boys go first and they’re all quite good. No drama, not tears or breakdowns or sore throats. Blergh. John Wilding is so dull he barely gets three seconds of screen time. “He stands out because he’s different,” said Danni, which you know is basically a wave goodbye.

My predictions for tomorrow:

Matt Cardle-there’s no way he’s heading home. He is clearly producer’s pet for the boys. He gets a good montage, some favourable soundbites. You’ll have to excuse me for being a bit cynical. As Danni is blaming herself for picking a really tough song for Matt (Beyonce’s If I Were A Boy) you know the producers are glaring daggers at her behind the cameras.

Aiden Grimshaw-his first audition was really fun and original. The best audition was Aiden Grimshaw, but really you can’t go wrong with Damien Rice.

Paije Richardson-he is dressed in a penguin suit, bowler hat, gold bowtie and blue jeans. He has the charisma, the best voice and he wore a penguin suit!

Possible: Nicolo Festa is not charismatic or entertaining enough to be such a diva without being annoying.

With the Overs there are absolutely no potential winners. And I mean zero. Sharon is convinced it is like One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest.

My predictions:

Mary Byrne AKA Louis’ only hope forgets some words but covers up well.

John Adeleye is solid if dull.

Storm Lee-an absolute wildcard, though he might be better off as an inspirational speaker, I wouldn’t be surprised if this goes to Wagner or Elesha, but one of Storm’s best attributes is Simon’s hatred of him.

Possible: Wagner told Louis and Sharon he will remember this moment on his deathbed. He sings Candi Staton’s You’ve Got The Love. Oh Florence, wherefore art thou?

Over to Simon’s category, the dreaded groups. The only remarkable group The X Factor has ever had have been JLS (no, I do not count Jedward as remarkable).

My predictions:

Princes and Rogues-camp, stylish and fun, they’re like the Scissor Sisters PG.

Belle Ami-soloists put together, maybe the only girl group with a shot, but we all saw what happened to the awesome Miss Frank last year.

One Directions-remember Lloyd Daniels? Remember Eoghan Quigg? Cute teenage boys with nice hair always do well. Always. Five put together? It’s a shoe in.

Possible: Diva Fever-though I’m not sure if they have enough room with Princes and Rogues. FYD may get in there, and if they do I may have to smash a plate over my head.

Over to Cheryl, the girls and tears and drama:

My prediction:

Gamu Nhengu gave the most emotional performance in boot camp, and she gave the coolest performance of Pixie Lott’s Cry Me Out.

Keri Arrindell sang Green Day’s When September Ends and she has such cool hair, such a cool attitude and she had the best audition

Rebecca Ferguson is surprisingly excellent. She could totally belt, but she didn’t, she kept it simple restrained, and beautiful, Treyc Cohen has a great voice, but I hated the song choice of Ave Maria.

Possible: Cher Lloyd, the biggest disappointment; she is clearly sick, she gives up, but she is Cheryl’s favourite and so far she’s the front runner so I’m going to say she’s through. Unless Cheryl asks her to return next year, when she’s a year older. Or else she may win the alleged wildcard slot that is rumored to be introduced into the competition this year.

Disappointments: Katie Waissel sings Smile, but no one seems to have told her it is an uplifting song. She flubs the lyrics, and her kookiness is really annoying at this stage.

Join me tomorrow night to see who is through, and who is going home.

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