THE X FACTOR UK “Auditions 4, Series 7 Review

X Factor UK (ITV) Auditions 4 Series 7

Welcome back to the fourth episode of series seven of THE X FACTOR UK. This week Pixie Lott, Britain’s up an coming teen popstar (the equivilant to Miley Cyrus except she can sing, her fans can vote, and she writes her own songs), joins the judging panel and we head offf to Wales, home of Duffy, Tom Jones, Feeder, Stereophonics and Miss Lott herself to see if there’s a Cher Lloyd or Alexandra urke waiting in the wings.

The acts:

Nicolo Festa: Simon likes him because he’s weird, Cheryl calls him a diva and likes the fact that his name is Nicolo and he is Italian, Louis, as usual, just reiterates what the other two said. He is a diva. He got three yeses but thought they should have given him a standing O. Hopefully he makes it to the finals: he’s sort of the perfect pantomime villain. And he has enough talent to be threatening to some contestants without actually being a threat to win the competition.

Paije Richardson: He wants to be a singer with such sincerity. Aww….I just want to pinch his cheeks. He first sings ‘Fly Me To The Moon’. This is boring, but not horrific. Just a bad choice of song. Cheryl and Simon say no. Louis gives him a second chance to return at the end of the day. This is either the most amazing or most scripted thing ever and I am totally going with the latter. This time around (shockingly) he sings ‘Man’s World’ and he even has some dance moves in there. He’s trying too hard but he’s got the emotional storyline to get two yeses from Simon and Cheryl.

Kash Dholliwar: Wears more jewellery than Snoop Dogg. Even his friends are turning away in agony as he crows Neyo’s ‘Closer’. He got four “I’m gonna say no” from Louis, Cheryl, Simon and Pixie Lott.

Tom Richard: From Wales, a horrid place where, according to him and Lucie Jones there’s no chance to escape and get a career. He goes from singing The Script to This Is The Moment. His voice is quite annoying and he doesn’t seem to have a brain. Pixie Lott suggests he should go to the West End. Can the X Factor please stop using the West End as a sort of lower stepping stone. Pixie has the deciding vote and eventually gives into the crowd’s chanting of “please say yes”. She should have stuck with her original decision and said no.

Bun ‘nd Cheese: A wonderful name, the etymology of which is their favourite food. If this was me, my stage name would me M&M, but I think that’s already been taken. They forgot the lyrics to ‘Listen’. My sister’s head literally exploded. I think the last thing she screamed was: “Blasphemy!” and then, ka-boom! Simon gives them a yes because they are just so bad they’re good, and Cheryl and Louis say no.

Well, that was that. Next week Nicole Scherzinger will grace us with her presence and hopefully we’ll have more Leona Lewis, less Jedward. Did anyone stand out for you? Let me know in the comments below!

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