HEROES Review – “Truth and Consequences” (2×10): Dear Monica…

HEROES - Dana Davis as Monica Dawson in “Truth and Consequences”

Damn Monica, this is what happens when you transition from a New Orlean’s fast food business straight into the “I am a super hero” business.

One minute it’s: “Would you like some fries with that?” The next minute you’re like a trapped creepy crawly with a can of Raid in your face.

I guess if there is one thing the penultimate episode (HEROES – “Truth and Consequences”) teaches Sister Girl, it’s don’t go chasing Glock-wielding arsonists (with a thing for comics) when your power comes from watching Jackie Chan-lite videos on your iPod.

Hell, couldn’t Bob have set Monica (Dana Davis) up with some Matrix video clips?
Maybe watching some of Trinity’s bone-breaking kung fu moves would have prevented Monica from being thrown around like a sack of laundry. But I suppose this only means we should plan on seeing Nikki (Ali Larter) break out a can of wup ass on those young comic-stealing punks in next week’s finale.

Anyway, didn’t we see Monica’s level of super-hero naiveté coming when Micah (Noah Gray-Cabey) had to confirm her eureka moment? The one where she realizes that Clark Kent wears glasses to hide his identity. I mean, what the frick Sister Girl, you’re smart and all, but creating a secret identity is Super Hero 101, and if you don’t know that then you don’t know diddley squat about the spandex game.

By the way, speaking of naiveté – can somebody please slap Maya?

Sylar (Zachary Quinto) is obviously icky, but Maya’s (Dania Ramirez ) so hot for a green card she makes out with him. I guess Sylar’s true genius comes from knowing that every woman just wants to be understood, even if that understanding comes from a sweaty, demented sociopath with glistening chest hair.

Peter (Milo Ventimiglia) is pretty gullible too. It’s obvious that Adam (David Anders) can’t wait to untie Victoria so that he can blow her away. It’s an entrapment move straight out of the corrupt cop playbook, but Peter ignores his suspicions because Adam helped him escape the Company’s poor excuse for a maximum security facility a few episodes back.

But if you ask me, Victoria deserves to die. Why ask a dumb question like: “How could anyone know what happens in the future?” Which is her response to Peter when he says: “A year from now, 93% of the world’s population is dead.” I mean, hello. Wasn’t she a part of the Company? You know, that company that tracks down super beings who live forever and what not. A little time travel shouldn’t be so farfetched, should it?

Anyway, Victoria gets killed shortly after we meet her and she’s really pissed at her agent for not making sure she lasts at least one more episode. After all Claire Bear’s douche bag boyfriend still gets to collect a paycheck from NBC.

And speaking of useless characters is there a bigger waste of NBC funds than Claire Bear’s brother? Mr Muggles gets more TV time.

Whatever. Peter and Adam are infiltrating “Dunder Mifflin” in the final scenes and even though the trailer for the finale suggests that the confrontation between Peter and Hiro leaves the latter dead, this isn’t going to happen. If I had to guess I would say next week’s fallen Heroes are Nathan and Nikki. Or is it Nathan and Maya?

I wouldn’t be surprised to see Elle (Kristen Bell) die, too.

Poor Elle, first she gets shot, then her dad scolds her for slipping on the job, then Claire Bear beats up her car.

Hey Elle, maybe it’s time you found a new job.

Ever thought about the fast food business?