Whitney Season 2 Review “Slow Ride”

After a few off weeks, “Whitney” bounced back, albeit mildly, with the reasonably enjoyable “Slow Ride.” Though hardly one of the best episodes, it was at least good for a few solid laughs here and there. The story involved Alex’s lamentation of his youth and when he used to ride a motorcycle back in high school. Wanting to rekindle those days of yore, he and the guys talk about buying a bike and fulfilling their dream of motoring their way to South America, much to the chagrin of the ladies.

Lily: “Seriously? You guys were going to ride to South America on your motor-wieners? Oh, come on! Motorcycles are totally phallic.”
Alex: “No, they’re not.”
Roxanne: “Yes they are! I mean, think about it. A guy has this powerful machine between his legs, ready to carry you away from everything. It’s exciting. It’s sexy!”

Whitney is less than enthused in particular; worrying that Alex will get himself hurt and miss out on things like starting a family.

Whitney: “Don’t you want to be around long enough to see our weird kids grow up?”
Alex: “Of course. I’m not gonna miss out on the chance to be a bad father.”

Meanwhile, Lily has some more ideas for the bar, which Mark isn’t thrilled about. You’ll recall last week, Lily invested in the bar, which gives her the right to make suggestions. However, she crosses a line when she goes over his head and orders some highfaluting imported beer. Mark is not amused, wanting to keep things strictly domestic. Things get heated until RJ walks in, looking like a dandy and swiping at his hair.

RJ: “I bought a bike.”
Lily: “Oh. I thought you were going to say you’re gay.”
Mark: “Let him finish.”

The girls meet up to discuss the motorcycle situation, which Whitney isn’t pleased about.

Whitney: “I don’t get motorcycles. I don’t think anyone should be able to go 100 miles an hour in a chair.”

Roxanne warns Whitney not to deny Alex a bike or she’ll regret it. Instead, she should find a compromise that she can live with or risk alienating him altogether. Meanwhile, the guys give Alex hell about caving in to Whitney, as RJ shows off his new bike.

RJ: “You can walk outside your door and get hit by a motorcycle. Might as well be on it.”

Alex returns home to find Whitney in a more pliable mood.

Whitney: “I want to give you the gift of adventure.”
Alex: “Like- in there?” (Indicates bedroom.)
Whitney: “We only have, like, two things left to do in there, and I’m saving them for the next time I’m losing a fight.”
Alex: “Well, just keep in mind my left knee’s going.”
Whitney: “Oh, you won’t need knees.” (Gotta wonder what she is talking about!)

Turns out Whitney is too late, as Alex has already purchased a bike behind her back. She is not amused.

Whitney: “That thing only has two wheels- it’s not even finished yet!”

Back at the bar, the import beer is selling very well, which upsets Mark. RJ comes in, a splint on his wrist, having gotten in an accident on his motorcycle already- but not on the road, at a gas station, when it falls over at the pump! Roxanne expresses her concern, but for all the wrong reasons.

Roxanne: “It’s not your pouring hand, is it?”

Begrudgingly, Whitney accepts Alex’s bike, though she’s not keen on riding it.

Alex: “You know, RJ’s helmet will probably fit you. You want to ride bitch?”
Whitney: “You wanna rephrase that, bitch?”

Alex eventually caves and opts to sell the bike.

Alex: “Alright, I’m gonna tell you something, but I don’t want you to think you’re anything special.”
Whitney: “Don’t worry- my parents took care of that.”

Alex tells her he sees her point, and wants to compromise after all- but not without terms.

Alex: “You can’t ask me to live my life in bubble wrap.”
Whitney: “Why not? That sounds really fun!”

They revisit the kid issue, and Alex wonders aloud what that will be like.

Alex: “You really think we’re gonna have weird kids?”
Whitney: “You serious? With your hair and my mouth, I’m giving birth to a more annoying Steven Tyler.”

Back at the bar, Mark lays down the law with Lily. Although her ideas aren’t bad, and he’s admittedly jealous he didn’t think of them first, she still needs to run them by him first. She agrees, but Roxanne has had enough.

Roxanne: “I don’t come here to listen to your bickering. I come here to relax and fill the dark, empty hole in my soul.”
RJ: “It’s bottomless, you guys.”

Indeed it is. So, a decent episode all around, if not LOL funny in a consistent way. At least they’re trying to improve the level of comedy somewhat, thought they’ve still got a ways to go. Hopefully, they’ll get there before the show gets cancelled, but I wonder.

What did you think of “Whitney” this week? A baby step in the right direction, or should they just hang it up? Can this show be saved? Let me know what you think in the comments section!

About The Author

Mark Trammell is the resident entertainment critic at UAB, the University of Alabama at Birmingham, where he is also a Graduate Student and does a vid-cast movie review show. His impossible dream is that "Twin Peaks" will one day be resurrected and pick up where it left off. Until then, he drowns his woes in anything remotely similar, from "Buffy" to "Lost" to "Pretty Little Liars." This has not always been a good thing-cough, "Ringer", cough- but now at least it can help pay the bills.