It was corporate getaway time on “House of Lies,” which means lots of partying and booze and the like- but also a lot of team-building skills type exercises. We start with Julianne preaching about a new era of Galweather-Stern, in which everyone leads with a strong sense of “Family Values.” She then proceeds to rag on Marty about going to his son’s recital at school, a good two hours or more day trip that will also serve to get him out of most of this nonsense.
It takes everything Marty has not to go off on Julianne, you can tell, but he doesn’t anyway. She strongly suggests he stays put, Marty then proceeds to leave. Can’t say I blame him. Besides, he wouldn’t have wanted to miss the awesomeness that was said recital. Telling the principal he and his dance crew will be doing their thing to the Broadway musical “Pippin,” they instead do a hilariously inappropriate booty-shaking dance to some hardcore rap that would put “Little Miss Sunshine” to shame. (Tried to web search the song they perform to by the lyrics- you don’t wanna know what I found…oh, internet! Update: The fabulously filthy song is “SOD” by Starting Six ft. Aliky.)
Meanwhile, Doug has brought his new GF to the retreat and they are getting absurdly busy from the sound of it, which as the guys say, has a foghorn-like quality to it. Not pretty, to be sure. But hey, Doug’s far & away the nicest guy of the pod, so let the poor boy be. Of course, Clyde can’t resist hitting on Sarah, the aforementioned squeeze o’ Doug. He even offers to apply some sun block on her breasts, “in case she forgot.”
Sarah: “No one forgets their tits.”
Clyde: “Never forget…they’re like 9/11.”
Leave it to Clyde to connect this nation’s greatest tragedy to boobs. Not that Doug is surprised when Sarah titty-tattles. As Doug says, “Well, that’s kind of like a handshake for Clyde.” Ain’t it the truth? I sometimes forget where Jean-Ralphio ends and Clyde begins, don’t you?
Sarah urges hi to get a backbone and tells him the pod isn’t his friends, and they have no respect for him. She’s not wrong, but is there a bit of Lady Macbeth action going on here? She also threatens Jeannie, who she’s convinced is hot to trot for Doug, which I doubt.
Oh, she’s right on about the rest- but on that, she’s way off. Might she be stirring up trouble because she’s a little nuts? We’ll see, but for now, I like her. At the very least, she seems to have Doug’s best interests at heart, even if he does get a little harsh with Clyde about it later, calling him a “sad, insecure little man” and seriously screwing up his game- not that he didn’t have it coming.
With Marty late getting back, a clearly off-her-game Tamara starts telling tales out of school, including one in which Marty made her a mix tape with the likes of “I Swear” on it. (Doug & Sarah have a moment over their mutual love for the non-boy band version.) Marty shows up and eventually they have a moment together, in which she confesses what the issue is.
It seems that Tamara’s hubby didn’t keep his promise of supporting her returning to work after the kids got a bit older and has secured a job in New York without asking her. This is a deal-breaker for her, and she says she’s going to leave him…which would also leave the door open for Marty. In fact, she all but does so that night, but he blatantly hits on a waitress in front of her, and that’s all she wrote. Tamara storms off, clearly not amused. “I just wanted to maybe get a three-way happening…” No dice.
But before that, Marty also drops a bombshell. He’s not happy with his current situation, and is seriously considering jumping ship- as in quitting Galweather. The thing with Julianne clearly rattled him, especially knowing what he does and her commenting how some employees “should know their place.” And yet, he never says anything to her, when he could have easily. I guess a good consultant knows when to show their hand and when not to.
All in all, an okay episode, I suppose. Honestly, it went by so quick it barely had time to register before it was over. I mean, I suppose on a certain level that’s a compliment, like not checking your watch at a movie that’s really long because you’re actually really into it and didn’t think to. But really, save the epic Roscoe moment- genuinely worth the price of admission- it was kind of rote and didn’t move things forward much, save the bomb Marty dropped at the end. It’ll be interesting to see where it goes from here.
What did you think of “House of Lies”? Was it righteous or “Nam-astey”? (Julianne’s pronunciation of “Namaste” was priceless, too.) Do you think Marty will jump ship for real? Or is he not going anywhere? Will he and Julie have it out next week or will Marty keep himself in check a little bit longer? Let me know what you think in the comments section!