On the latest “Family Guy,” we learned a few things about a few of our main characters, Chris and Stewie, plus a little about Meg as well. The main focus was Chris, as evidenced by the title of the episode, “Chris Cross.” Tired of never fitting in- loved the flashback of a svelte Chris with a cowboy hat, lamenting: “Of all the years to be trim and well-hatted,” as everyone around him was fat and wearing baseball caps. That explains a lot, as Chris gained weight and changed hats to fit in with the cool kids, only to see thin be in the next year. Oh well.
To make matters worse, his classmates ridicule him for his shoes over the teacher’s curvaceous rear end, which “just happens to be a hot Brazilian woman’s.” Fed up, he asks his mom for money for new shoes, but she refuses, saying times are tight. He eventually does the unthinkable and steals money from his mother, only to be caught by Meg, who blackmails him into doing her bidding. Probably the funniest bits were the revelation that Meg was part of a group that “trashes Anne Frank’s house every year” and her reaction to putting in contacts, which cause her eyes to roll back into her head until you can only see the whites of her eyes, which reminded me of a certain cartoon heroine.
Eventually, Chris gets fed up and refuses to do Meg’s bidding anymore and leaves the house altogether. Chris was mad as hell and he wasn’t going to take it anymore, so he decided to take his fate into his own hands. He moves into- gulp! – Mr. Herbert’s, the creep-tastic neighbor with a fondness for young boys. He gives Chris a pep talk- and a super-gross analogy.
Mr. Herbert: “Life is like a new baseball glove. At first, you think you’re never gonna get a ball in there. But then you oil it up, work your fingers around in there a little and pretty soon, you’re pitching and catching.” (Loved how his bed kept inching closer to Chris’ bed, with every turning on and off of the lights.)
However, in typical Chris fashion, he manages even to alienate him as well, making a general slob of himself and trashing the house, ultimately resulting in his getting the boot from Mr. Herbert’s, which is probably for the best.
Fortunately, Meg is waiting for him and the two make up and she agrees to cover for him if he comes back home, leaving a heartbroken Mr. Herbert to go on his vacation to an isolated cabin in the woods alone- save for a fellow creeper and his prey. Ick! All’s well that ends well…I guess?
Meanwhile, Stewie discovers the, um, “joys” of Anne Murray, I suppose, if you can call it that. Kind of sounds like music from the waiting room in Hell, but maybe that’s just me. At least he likes it (“It’s like her voice is putting my entire body in her mouth”), as evidenced by the hilarious musical fantasias set to numerous Murray songs and featuring Stewie and late-convert Brian in psychedelic, soul-bearing animated scenarios that were almost worth the price of admission themselves, despite those ungodly soundtracks. “Some hardcore sh*t,” indeed.
The two get into a debate over the true meaning of a Murray song called “Snowbird,” and decide to pay Murray a visit, because that’s what you do in cartoons when you can do anything and someone digs on Anne Murray and wants her to do a guest voice on the show. Though it was worth it for the line where Stewie confesses that he was the one who “sent you all those vibrators,” and asked her: “Do you like tapas? Someone invited me out for that once. I thought they said ‘topless’ and I was like, what?” Anne Murray’s reaction: “That’s a good story.” LOL.
Alas, Stewie’s fandom comes crashing down when he discovers that Murray didn’t write her own songs. Brian is nonplussed, but Stewie hits the roof, tying Murray to a chair and forcing her to sing through a gag: “Come on, Anne, sing along! You know it. You didn’t write it, but you know it, bitch!” Funny stuff, although, in spite of myself, I couldn’t help but wonder what Mrs. Murray’s ultimate fate was. I guess, much like the lyrics of “Snowbird,” we will never really know.
Some funny bits throughout, like the ‘club‘ song on the radio: “Talking about the club/Looking round the club/Pimpin’ in the club/Emphasizing club,” the condom ad: “Put us on backwards a little bit, the put us on the right way” (so true), and the random joke at “Fast Times at Ridgemont High”-character Damone’s expense- “And that was the last we heard of him,” indeed- complete with an actual clip of the movie. I also laughed at the commentary on people who “really like dive bars and really need you to know it” and the Georgia O’Keefe joke.
So, a decent episode overall. The Anne Murray stuff was a bit random, but to each their own, I guess. I still thought it was funny, regardless, though part of me wondered if that might have been a dig at “South Park,” who infamously dissed Murray in their movie, in the song “Blame Canada” and it’s line “…And that bitch Anne Murray, too!” Even if it was an elaborate joke to that end, those mini-videos set to her songs were priceless, what with dancing multi-colored Stewies and Brian reverting back to puppyhood. Good stuff.
What did you think of the latest episode of “Family Guy”? Like seeing Chris thin? How about Meg in diabolical mode? Good stuff, or only mildly amusing? Are you an Anne Murray fan? Feel free to make your case below in the comments section, but honestly, really? Anne Murray? Whatevs.