The latest episode of “Family Guy” drove the joke home started earlier in the evening on “The Cleveland Show”…or came pretty close, if you get my meaning. Basically, “The Giggity Wife” was like a cross between “What Happens in Vegas” and the indie comedy “Humpday,” with Quagmire waking up hitched to a skanky hooker and having to fake being gay to get out of it when the woman wanted to make a go of things.
Peter, of course, had a field day with all of this, laying on the insults fast and furious. Two of my faves include: “Your wife is a human toilet” (um, eew- especially given the visuals that went with it) and “I’ll bet she’s what happens if you put a Hooters girl in a microwave on high.” Not that the hilariously-dubbed Charmese was any easier on herself: “I got to check on a whistling sound” she told everyone at dinner, after confessing she couldn’t have kids because she’d “been stabbed in the vagina.” (!) Stay classy, “Family Guy.”
In no time, Quagmire was screaming to get out of the arrangement, especially after the least effective makeover montage in history. Some people just can’t be helped, and it wasn’t long before Quagmire was declaring himself “super-duper-double gay.” Alas, Charmese smelled a rat- or maybe just herself- and demanded proof in exchange for a divorce. So, naturally Quagmire turned to pal Peter for help.
Peter being Peter, he wanted to be wined and dined first, declaring: “I’m not just a poorly-cleaned butt. There’s a whole man around it you have to please.” Back at the house, it was go-time, and it had to be the most awkwardly-hilarious seduction scene ever. “I want to do gay things for you,” indeed. The “2 Girls, 1 Cup” bit was spectacularly gross, but a dead was a deal, and the time had come to make things happen.
Quagmire: “It’s very close, Peter…the paintbrush is about to touch the canvas.”
Thankfully, our not-so-fair hooker put a stop to things before it was too late, pulling the plug on the whole farce. She granted Quagmire the divorce, realizing if a straight guy would rather sleep with another man than her, he must be serious about wanting a divorce. You think? She made her goodbyes and left the two to continue the awkwardness.
Charmese: “I’m sorry my urine melted a hole in your toilet.”
In a final bit of hilarity, it was revealed that Quagmire inexplicitly was recording the non-event…and broadcasting it live online. To Peter’s family. Whoops!
Stewie: “What are we watching… “Glee”?”
And end of scene.
Pretty amusing stuff on the whole, even if the scenario was funnier in theory than execution. I certainly did find myself wondering just how far they were going to take this thing, and it’s probably for the best that they pulled out (see what I did there?) when they did, but nonetheless, that had to be one of the riskier detours I’ve ever seen a mainstream cartoon go on the whole. And I say kudos to them for it, even if it could have been a little funnier overall. Hey, you gotta start somewhere.
More great lines:
Quagmire: “I love eating food that’s sad.”
Lois: “Breakfast is not dinner!”
Peter, on Lois: “She’s also mad because I shook Stewie too hard and now he’s walking weird.”
Doctor, after a body explodes on the operating table: “You forgot to say “clear”!”
What did you think of “Family Guy” this week? How did you feel about them treading where few cartoons would dare to, at least on network TV? Or did they not go far enough? Sound off in the comments!