On this week’s “The Cleveland Show,” baby fever struck- or at least attempted baby-making- on the puntastically-titled “A Vas Deferens Between Men & Women.” After Rallo “officially” graduated from baby status with much celebration (including a full-scale destruction of all his baby stuff by fire), Donna decided she wanted another little one, having been unaware of Cleveland’s neutering some time ago when he was drunk- hence the title.
Cleveland at first fought it, before he remembered another baby simply wasn’t possible, and then he proceeded to take advantage of the situation with plenty of baby-making practicing, if you know what I mean and I think that you do. Sex was subsequently and, um, colorfully described alternatively as sounding like “a mugging in process,” “a boot being pulled out of the mud,” and my personal favorite: “like wet chicken breasts slapping together.”
Eventually, Donna got wise, and faked a pregnancy to put Cleveland back in his place, only Cleveland in turn got wise to Donna and turned the tables on her, going along with her in protest. This ultimately led to Donna going so far as to imitate giving birth, rather than admit the truth, leading to a funny scene in which she “delivered” a couch cushion. Said the horrified doctor when he discovered the “birth” was fake: “I’m not even comfortable sending that cushion home with you.” He then proceeded to comfort the poor traumatized pillow: “Shh, shh, you’re with daddy now.”
Meanwhile, Rallo snagged the lead in the play “Annie” over poor Roberta- who was reduced to playing a dog. Cleveland Junior served as stage manager “because there were no burly lesbians around who wanted to do it.” Rallo wasted no time going full diva, making such impossible- and expensive- demands that the school couldn’t afford the rights to do the play anymore, forcing them to do a hilarious knock-off version instead. (“Goodbye, Annie,” lamented Rallo, “For us, there is no tomorrow.” Ha! I see what you did there! Ditto: “Annie, got your gum!”)
The newfangled “Annie” had amusingly tweaked variations of the songs and situations and even the dialogue, such as “Crawling chameleons, Papa Starbucks!”(Instead of: “Leaping lizards, Daddy Warbucks,” for those unfamiliar with the play.) Later on in the end of the play, Little Orphan Rallo nuked the planet, crying as he did so: “I’m finally gonna meet you mom and dad…in hell!” Pretty funny stuff, and probably the best of what the episode had to offer overall.
Not that there wasn’t some funny bits here and there. The visual gag with the “breakfast house,” complete with mechanized drawbridges for the “buttery butter” and the “maple-ly syrup” was cute, as was the Rambo homage of Cleveland emerging from the mud after Donna & Kendra got out of it at the spa: “She drew first blood- not me.”
The dream sequence version of Cleveland’s operation, on the other hand, was both funny and disturbing- much like Cleveland’s version of keeping erections at bay by visualizing “CCH Pounder on the toiley.” (How random was that joke? Just random enough to be funny, especially if you knew who that was- and even if you didn’t, bonus points for use of the word “toiley.”) The grossest mental visualization joke, though, had to be the bit about the 3D version of “The World’s Grossest Births”: “She’s pooping, she’s pooping!” Eew!
After Donna gave the boot to a group of sexy nannies she brought in to give Cleveland a good reason to have another baby, they pleaded with her as they were corralled back onto the “Rock of Love” bus: “Please no make us. We have so much herpes.” (!)
Rallo: “Man, Junior’s short is unexpectedly large on me. I feel like Al Roker after his third surgery, ‘cept all this (indicates the loose folds of the shirt on the ground) would be skin.” (Okay, maybe that was the most disturbing mental image of the show.)
Rallo, after the play was cancelled: “Now I’m the most pathetic thing on earth: a former child star. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna go and get this over with and hold up a Laundromat.”
Cleveland, rationalizing what his not being a father again was for the best: “Yeah, I’m always tired- that baby would have died.”
All in all, a so-so episode, but it had its moments overall. What did you think of “The Cleveland Show”? Did you get a kick out of Cleveland and Donna get their freak on? Did you find the “Annie” knock-off play amusing? Let me know in the comments!