Lois had a midlife crisis this week on “Family Guy,” to relatively amusing effect as she got a makeover, hair extensions, a lower-back tat and a series of hootchie-mama outfits, in the aptly-titled “Lois Comes out of Her Shell.” Mistaking her sadness for need for a party, Peter put together a shindig that didn’t help matters much. (Loved the visual gag of the faux “store” Peter erected to keep Lois occupied while he was putting together her party, down to a speaking stand-up grocer.) Or it might have, if Peter hadn’t given a dubious-if-hilarious speech that culminated in the line: “I have a lovely gift of the batch-swapping variety waiting for you when I’m just the right amount of drunk.”
The not-so-happy occasion sends Lois down the rabbit hole of flipping out and she starts hanging out with girls half her age and going to Justin Beiber concerts, which is never a good thing for anyone. Still, Peter is appreciative at first, enjoying her youthful exuberance and newfound sexy attitude. At one point he sees her and announces, hilariously: “Guys, I gotta go and shoot one in the sink.” LOL…and eww.
Before long the two are going at it like wildcats, much to the concern of the rest of the family. After overhearing a particularly disturbing bout of lovemaking, Brian notes: “My hearing’s a lot better, so I hear, like, suction and stuff.” Eventually, Peter starts to miss good old Lois, even if the emphasis is on the “old,” dispensing this great bit of wisdom: “Every guy that’s been married a while thinks he wants a young chick. But after you spend an hour with one of ‘em, you want to blow your brains out.” True enough.
Meanwhile, Stewie adopted a turtle he found at the lake- a turtle who, unbeknownst to him, is purely and simply evil. After bonding on the appeal- or lack thereof, as the case may be- of Rose McGowan (“Yes, she makes my turtle head go in, too”- not sure I get the hate there!) and Michelle Rodriguez, the two head home, where in no time, the turtle is sabotaging everything he sees. Stewie eventually catches on and flushes the turtle down the toilet, but he seeks his revenge, sending his beloved teddy bear’s head to Stewie in a box. Clearly, this means war.
Stewie manages to get the turtle out of his shell- “Oh my God, you look like a nude Larry David!”- but things are looking bleak when he gets a last minute assist from…wait for it: Mario, of “Super Mario Brothers” fame. As he explains: “I jump on a turtle, Stewie. It’s not an exciting life- but it’s my life.”
All in all, a pretty decent episode of “Family Guy,” with some solid jokes throughout, though the somewhat hyped Johnny Depp bit proved to be a glorified and exceedingly brief cameo in which he simply reprised his Edward Scissorhands role for a gag involving babysitting a child: “The baby’s dead.” It was moderately funny at best, but you’d think they could have given him a bit more to do. God only knows how much McFarlane & Co paid for that minute or so of dialogue.
Fave lines not mentioned:
Stewie (After Lois drops him): “Nice throw, Casey Anthony.”
The “serious putty” gag- Kid: It says I have cancer.”
Mother: We thought it’d be better if you heard it from chemicals in an egg.”
Stewie, on Lois’ Birthday party: “Hey, anytime you can celebrate the end of someone’s periods.”
Peter, after a bubble-headed girl tells him to not be offended by a thoroughly inoffensive remark: “Where was I supposed to be offended within that remark?”
Tricia Takanowas, reporting from a Justin Beiber concert: “Tom, I am standing here at the Quahog Civic Center awash in a pool of prepubescent sexual moisture.”
I also thought the visual gag about the bald guys was fun, if gross: “That unspoken bond that all bald guys have” indeed. Ditto the bit with Peter and the forks in his eyes: “All I can see are forks.” The thing with everyone reacting to Lois, save Brian (“I can’t do that.”), by darting their heads inside their bodies (a la the turtle) was amusing, too. I also liked the bit about “Quentin Vashay,” aka the future Beiber.
What did you think of the latest “Family Guy”? Did you like the Depp cameo or think it was overhyped? Did I miss any of your fave jokes? Let me know in the comments!