Welcome back, Gossipers. Did you have a nice summer? Have the Dan-lovers finished licking their wounds? You know it’ll never heal if you keep picking at it. See, last year I tried to play fair and only took sides because the story happened to only make sense for one side. But this season is the last…and all bets are off. Consider this fair warning. I can’t stand Dan Humphrey and the season premiere, “Gone Maybe Gone,” only served to cement my antipathy. Because really…is there anything left to love about Lonelyboy?
He spent the summer in Italy under the questionable tutelage of Georgina, writing a tell-all book on a typewriter as not to risk exposure via technology. Please. It wasn’t as if no one didn’t realize who his last book was about; not using clever nicknames like Sabrina for Serena isn’t going to make this one an instant bestseller. Dan is the absolute worst. He is the king of condescension and the emperor of self-righteousness. He stands in judgement of everyone in the world he never really had to be a part of, while he’s done nothing but try to gain acceptance and entrance into that world from day one. It’s like yelling at a bee for stinging you after you’ve stuck your hand in its nest to get honey. He has no one to blame but himself.
There are a lot of reasons why I’m glad Blair chose Chuck, not the least of which is the fact that they have more sexual chemistry when they’re standing three feet apart then she and Dan had while they were between the sheets, but because she deserves to be with someone who isn’t going to be constantly judging her the sin of being rich. Dan never gave Serena a break about the life she happened to be born into; he made her feel like her family’s wealth was something to be ashamed of, and he was already doing the same thing to Blair. Chuck, on the other hand…that’s so not an issue.
Still, I’m sad to report that Chuck and Blair are not officially together, but despite Dan’s best efforts to raise doubts in Blair’s mind (damn you, Humphrey!), the real reason is that Chuck has finally grown up and realized that how he treated Blair in the past isn’t acceptable behavior. He wants to love her like a man, not a boy. Until the day he takes back everything his dad ripped away from him, she can only wear his ring around her neck. Honestly, it’s enough for me. Last season there were a lot of words without any action. This year, I’d rather they not leap too quickly only to crash and burn. I just hope they have a few hot, clandestine encounters along the way, and that Blair doesn’t listen to a bitter word that comes out of Dan’s mouth.
It’s a good thing Blair has Chuck because she lost Serena. After dropping off the grid, Nate had to trade his info on Gossip Girl’s identity to find out where everyone’s favorite party girl spent the summer. Fortunately it wasn’t in a hospital or a psych ward (that would have made Georgina way too happy). Serena did what Dan should have done a long time ago. She got out. She found a way to make a fresh start with a man who (at least for now) is good and decent and understood why she didn’t tell him her real name. When she chose her new life over her tumultous relationship with her BFF, a very hurt Blair lashed back, as she always does.
In other random news, Ivy is working with Lola on some sort of plan that involves befriending and seducing Rufus. Can’t imagine what that is, although I assume it’s a means to punish Lily, which quite frankly I’m not all that opposed to these days, especially now that she’s renewed her vows with Bart Bass. And Nate is taking up with a fresh-faced reporter trying to do a story on him and the Spectator. Let’s hope that potential romance is more interesting than the fling he had with Lola. Is anyone mourning the death of that hook-up? I doubt it.
So, nine episodes left and a lot of stuff to wrap up. Is anyone taking bets, making predictions? I’d love to hear them. The only thing I wouldn’t like to hear is how I’m a terrible excuse for a human being because I don’t like Dan Humphrey. I’m not kicking puppies, people. It’s just my opinion and I’m as entitled to it as you are to yours.
Also, you can follow me on Twitter @krieli1 if you never want to miss a review. Until next time…
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