Welcome back, my geek bretheren. The Big Bang Theory returned this week with “The Date Night Variable,” and while we spent our summer missing our favorite nerds, Howard spent the first weeks of his marriage in space. They say no one can hear you scream there. They never heard Howard’s mother.
Even hovering above the Earth on the ISS, Howard couldn’t grow a pair and stand up to his mother. Somehow he managed to leave the planet without telling his Ma that he planned to move out of the house with Bernadette now that they’re married. Ma Wolowitz took it with grace, understanding, and absolutely no stereotypical Jewish mother…sorry, I can’t finish typing that sentence. Of course she took it badly and used every guilt trick in the book. And he caved in, although he lied to Bernadette and told her he stood up to his mother.
That’s going to go over great when he gets back. I know this is a bit and it’s one of the defining characteristics of Howard, but I am so over his mother. Of course, that might have something to do with me spending most of the summer with “Howard, it’s the phone!” as my ringtone.
Moving on, Amy dressed up and bleached her upper lip in preparation for her second anniversary with Sheldon, only to find that her clueless, asexual boyfriend invited Raj along on their date in order to loophole out of his agreement to pretend to care about Amy once a year. My heart broke a little for Amy, but in the end, Sheldon whipped out something romantic (stolen from Spiderman, but still) and convinced her not to dump him for a man who is willing to use his genitals for more than just waste evacuation.
And in other relationship news, Raj almost got Penny to tell Leonard that she loves him. Almost. After five years, the only thing we can be certain that Penny loves is alcohol. Wine, beer…she’s not picky. Leonard is still being passive-aggressive about it, but what else is new?
The only really new thing in this episode was the bonding between a very lonely Raj and an always lonely comic-book store Stuart. Is this the beginning of a new, sad bromance?
All in all, it was a perfectly fine episode that, if nothing else, served as a reminder that Mayim Bialik should have won an Emmy this year.
Amy: If Sheldon proposed to me during sex, my ovaries would grab onto him and never let go.
Leonard: Sheldon, are you sure you want to be bringing Raj on your date night with Amy?
Sheldon: Oh, absolutely. I have a contractural obligation to provide Amy with conversation and casual physical contact, but nowhere is it specified that I can’t outsource that to an Indian.
Russian Astronaut: Hey, Froot Loops. You have a phone call.
Howard: Who is it?
Russian Astronaut: A woman who says she’s your mother, but sounds like your father.
Russian Astronaut: I can’t believe these people won the Cold War.
Sheldon: You can’t leave! I need you!
Amy: You do?
Sheldon: Yes. You’re my ride.
What did you think of the episode? Let me know below! Also, you can follow me on Twitter @krieli1, so you never miss a review!