Storage Wars “Buy, Buy Birdie” & “The Return of San Burrito” Review

Tonight’s first installment of Storage Wars, “Buy, Buy Birdie”, brought our buyers to the small farming community of Chino. All of the pre-auction scenes were a bit goofy, as we get the same ol’, same ol’ from all of our buyers. Barry is optimistic and excited for the auction, Dave is regaling his past success stories at this new city, Jarrod and Brandi are talking how important the auction is for their store, and Darrell is being an immature punk and talking about how Brandon needs to start pulling his weight. Really deep lesson there, Darrell. “You’re always in the proper seat. Always be prepared to take the wheel!” That’s some real Mr. Miyagi stuff, there!

Anyway, Barry bought the first unit, a small personal unit with a fancy box, for a whopping $800. He didn’t find much in it worth noting except for the fancy box contained a bunch of pigeon racing paraphernalia, and ended up taking his typical loss for the episode.

Jarrod bought the second unit for $2,900, in what was a bit of a strange auction. It’s not often that we see Dan make a mistake, but this definitely wasn’t his finest moment. First he took quite a long time after saying “going twice” before saying “sold”, which gave Darrell enough time to get a last-minute bid in over Jarrod. Then Jarrod asked him that if he bid $2,700, could all of the future bids go by $100? Dan agreed, but then Darrell made a half bid and Dan called out his bid as going to $2,800, even though he thought he was only going to $2,750. Dan, knowing he made a mistake, actually offered to pay the $50 difference himself! Dan’s integrity and professionalism has already been called into question once this season, when newcomer Jeff Jarrod accused him of showing favoritism to the featured buyers. Anyway, Jarrod won the unit fair and square and ended up selling it for a small profit of $325.

Dave Hester bought the final unit of the day containing a bunch of electronics for only $775! I was shocked that the first two units went for as much as they did, and this one, stacked floor to ceiling with factory sealed electronics, only went for $775! He ended up winning the episode handily and making a profit of $15,425! Maybe he should use the “Silent yup” more often!

So moving on to the second episode of the night, “The Return of San Burrito”, we return to San Bernardino and Highland Self Storage. Barry rode a cooler to the auction, Hester wants to follow up his victory from the last episode, and Darrell is still being a punk to his poor son. So basically, nothing’s changed. Oh wait, Jarrod’s wearing a different Outlaw Apparel shirt?! I don’t even know who I am anymore!

Anyway, the first locker goes for a ridiculous $2,350 to Barry. Despite distracting the crowd with breakfast burritos, he still paid about $1,000 more than anybody should pay for it. This poor guy never seems to know when he’s being run up, and that was definitely the case today. I know Barry is really on the show for fun, as opposed to it being his livelihood, but the guy probably can’t afford to lose that much money.

On the other side of the cost spectrum, Darrell bought the next unit for only $230. He found a couple paintings and other odds and ends, and ended up selling his map of Transylvania and everything else for a profit of $2,150.

On the final locker of the night, Dave spent $1,850 on some sister units filled with antiques. Nothing really interesting to say here, as he came up with a profit of $1,900.

Apart from Hester’s big score in episode one, tonight’s installments of Storage Wars really didn’t involve anything earth shattering. I really hope Barry starts making some money here, as it’s a bummer to see him overspend and lose money on every unit. Here’s hoping he can pick it up in the next few episodes!

Random Thoughts:

- Why was Barry’s car the only one to get pooped on? Really made me feel like that whole scene was scripted.

- The fact that Darrell tweeted during the show and hashtagged “#fail” makes me hate him a little bit more.

- When’s the last time we had an ending scene that did NOT involve Barry doing something funny? They’re really lucky he’s on this show.

About The Author

Luke is a licensed insurance agent by day, and a sharp-tongued TV reviewer by night. He sells entertainment insurance to people working in the TV and film industry, and then turns around to review their work! Apart from leading this conflicted life, he plays a lot of video games and enjoys his life in beautiful Santa Clarita, California with his wife and small pomeranian puppy. He hopes you enjoy his reviews, but also secretly hopes you disagree whole-heartedly because those comments are just as entertaining!

  • Boboboston

    In this episode Dave claims the Galaxy 3500MGB-raid V2 External hard drive enclosures are worth $150 each.  They are actually of zero value except possibly as scrap aluminum.  The company that sold them in 2010 is out of business and consumer ratings on the product were horrible even when they were new.  Now they are completely outdated.  Repeatedly stating prices far beyond the actual value of goods found in lockers is annoying and looks foolish.  New products with much higher capacity today sell for under $20.  The Galaxys are valueless.

    • Anonymous

      I wonder about that a lot on this show, especially with Dave.  I remember one episode he bought a locker full of books, and he scanned the ISBNs on the books and found out how much the books cost NEW and decided that’s how much they were worth.  Baloney.  Nobody is going to give you $30 for a 10 year old book that’s been sitting in a storage locker collecting dust.  He goes on to claim he’d make over $20k on that locker.

      Just once I want to see a follow up episode that shows these people actually trying to SELL these items.  Some appraiser somewhere might say your tribal wooden tiki head is worth $5,000, but good luck trying to find somebody who would actually pay anywhere near that much!

  • Dredlore

    I would love the show to have an Appraiser watch the footage and correct outrages prices.. Dave must have a disorder that makes him think all thing he scores is worth 10% over fair retail.. and i agree with *Luke_Gelineau. good luck getting more than $5 per box