Storage Wars “May the Vaults Be With You” Review

Storage Wars Season 3

(Editor’s Note: This is the review for the second episode of Storage Wars‘ two-part season premiere. Check out the review for the first episode here).

Storage Wars‘ returned tonight with a two episode season premiere, and we just saw everybody but Dave make money in La Verne on “Third Eye of the Tiger” in the first episode. Now the gang moves to sunny Chatsworth, California, about 20 minutes from my house. Unfortunately, Chatsworth can be one of the hottest areas of the valley, and it ended up being an outdoor auction as our buyers bid on vaults.

We did see something tonight for what I believed to be the first time, and that was no-name civilian attendants actually buying lockers. I know from interviews with the cast that civilians will buy lockers all the time, but they don’t usually make it to air. It was interesting to see Dave got consistently outbid by others, and it really emphasizes how popular this show has gotten that these auctions are attended by so many people. Hester ends up going home empty again, and has yet to make a buy in the first few episodes of season three.

Jarrod and Brandi spent $1,400 for a vault full of miscellaneous stuff, and they ended up finding a bunch of tools and some antique furniture. They found a cool radio in there, which they were hoping would bring them some profit, but they ended up being the first losers of the season as they lost $155.

Darrell brought Brandon and ended up spending $650 for a vault full of what looked like restoration materials. He found some cool miscellaneous items, but ended up finding a painting worth $2,500 to come out $3,850 ahead! I’ll tell you what, my heart skipped a beat when Darrell almost made $177,000. That would have been the biggest find on this show by far. Maybe the value was decreased so much due to bad karma. I’m not sure why he was so mean to Brandon today, especially when it was his idea to split up in the first place. I did follow Brandon on Twitter for a while, and it does seem as if he’s letting his fame get to his head a little bit, so maybe Darrell is trying to put him in his place. I don’t know. Also, did Darrell mean to tell Brandon to “Ship up or shape out”? That doesn’t make any sense, dude…

Barry spent $1,900 on everybody’s favorite vault of the day, which started out looking like one of the biggest busts. The guy only found 40 bucks worth of stuff before finding one of the most interesting items of the day. Thankfully Barry had the requisite Star Wars knowledge to recognize that the jacket that says “Revenge of the Jedi” might be a collectors item, as George Lucas famously changed the name of the film right before release. He takes it to two annoying “Kings of swag” (Stop talking over each other!), and they end up appraising it for a whopping $3,250! That’s a profit of $1,395, which is pretty good for Barry! I was glad to see that Barry was also irritated by Tweedle-Dee and Tweedle-Dum, and he ended up leaving halfway through their story.

SEASON LONG STANDINGS:
Barry: $2,470
Darrel: $4,140
Dave: $0
Jarrod & Brandi: $1,095

Random Thoughts:

– Did Brandon get new tattoos? Or have I just not seen him in a tank top in a while?

– Does it bother anybody else that Darrell says things like “500 dollar bill” or “600 dollar bill”? There’s no such thing as a 600 dollar bill! Watch, now that I’ve pointed that out it’s going to bug you too!

– Did anybody else see the goofy cross-over promotion for the new A&E show Barter Kings? That show looks like an interesting idea. Related anecdote: Once me and my friends played a game called “Bigger and Better” where we all split up into teams and each team was given a plastic spoon. We were then told to go out into different neighborhoods and trade the spoon with somebody for something bigger or better. They would give us something better than the spoon, and we would trade that item for something else at the next house. You know what we ended up getting? A car. I’m not kidding. We ended up trading up to a guy who had an old Toyota Tacoma sitting in his backyard, so we rolled it back home and felt like rock stars. True story.

About The Author

Luke is a licensed insurance agent by day, and a sharp-tongued TV reviewer by night. He sells entertainment insurance to people working in the TV and film industry, and then turns around to review their work! Apart from leading this conflicted life, he plays a lot of video games and enjoys his life in beautiful Santa Clarita, California with his wife and small pomeranian puppy. He hopes you enjoy his reviews, but also secretly hopes you disagree whole-heartedly because those comments are just as entertaining!

  • Zaphod Beeblebrox

    Darrell is losing his ability to focus upon anything other than the next big score. He can’t speak correctly, be nice to his son, or tell when Dave is shouting those obvious rapid-fire “yups” to bid him up on crappy lockers. Everyone hates Dave but at least he bids like a professional who brings in a steady cash flow. Darrell, on the other hand, appears to be little more than a ham-fisted gambling addict and I’m tired of watching him roll the dice and run his mouth. 

  • Zaphod Beeblebrox

    Darrell is losing his ability to focus upon anything other than the next big score. He can’t speak correctly, be nice to his son, or tell when Dave is shouting those obvious rapid-fire “yups” to bid him up on crappy lockers. Everyone hates Dave but at least he bids like a professional who brings in a steady cash flow. Darrell, on the other hand, appears to be little more than a ham-fisted gambling addict and I’m tired of watching him roll the dice and run his mouth.