DANCING WITH THE STARS Season 13 Week 7 Performance Show – So prior to the actual episode airing, I was flipping channels, biding the time before the show and handing out candy to the little boys and ghouls brave enough to come to my poorly lit porch. (Palladia was playing a Slayer concert. Slayer. Slayer! On television!)
I happened upon CBS, and that trash-driven show The Insider was on. Seriously, how bad have these entertainment shows devolved? It’s all gossip now. All of it. They were interviewing J.R. Martinez, and of course—of course!—the questioning immediately goes to “So how are you dealing with the feud between Maks and the judges?”
Seriously. That was the bulk of the questioning. Oh, that crazy Maks!
Of course my first reaction was to throw an Almond Joy wrapper at my television set, but upon thinking about it…
Has there really been anything else as attention-grabbing as that one angry moment? This season just hasn’t been very compelling. There’s no Helio, no Giles, no cute ex-gymnasts or Olympic skaters to root for. There’s always Derek Hough and his superior choreography, but this year he’s strapped with Ricki Lake who, while obviously capable, isn’t very likable. And really, competition wise, it’s just between Lake and Martinez. There is no third.
So sadly, Maks’ tantrum is kind of what the needs to generate any kind of buzz.
Today’s show was good, especially at the end. I’m a little bit over the whole Halloween theme, but this show probably does it best, taking advantage of the opportunity for blatant camp. And puns. I’m a sucker for a good pun, and Bergeron does it with relish.
How’d the dancers do today? Here’s how I ranked our li’l drama queens this week:
Ricki Lake with Derek Hough: At least she won’t pull the injury card—oh, wait. Tragically, you can only pull that card if you have a bad dance, and theirs was the best of the night. That was a snappy Paso! First place with ease.
J.R. Martinez with Karina Smirnoff: He ain’t afraid of no Tango! “Ghostbusters” is a weird song to Tango to, and J.R. and Karina were good, but (as the judges pointed out) it wasn’t their best. The footwork was good. I can’t see them getting the boot, even on an off week, because their off week is still better than most peoples’ on week.
Rob Kardashian with Cheryl Burke: What, no mention of sister Kim’s 71-day marriage and upcoming divorce? Come on now. That’s certainly more interesting that boring Rob or Cheryl’s phobias. The dance was decent. I don’t see him going home, as there were much worse dancers, and he’s inexplicably popular.
Hope Solo with Maks Chmrkovsky: “Having Teddy in the room with me is incredibly refreshing.” Translation: Maks is mean! (Shocking.) Here’s a news flash: you’re never going to make a good dancer out of Hope Solo. She’s not a high heel person. Decent. Not at the top, and not at the bottom.
David Arquette with Kym Johnson: The danced the Cha-cha-cha to The Steve Miller Band’s “Abracadabra,” and it was decent. A little off the beat at times, but certainly entertaining. He looks slightly pale. That could have been makeup. Or DT’s.
Nancy Grace with Tristan McManus: “If he says I’m not fun, he’s crazy.” “See how fun that was?” It was kind of fun watching her mangle the dance. I’m really hating Nancy “Stompy” Grace, but I like McManus. I hope he’s back next year—with a better partner. Dude’s funny. And he’s earning his stripes just by putting up with that woman.
As for the team stuff (Team Paso vs. Team Tango—Paso crushed it)… I note Nancy was picked last. Because she belongs on the bottom.
Hopefully tomorrow we find out she’s gone. What do you think? Tune in tomorrow on Dancing With The Stars!
If you like being on the bottom, follow me on Twitter! That’s @Axechucker!
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