LAW & ORDER: SVU “Bombshell” Season 12 Episode 19 – Any show that starts out with a man staggering around with a knife in his groin gives me a nice, warm, fuzzy feeling inside, and makes me hopeful for fun events to come. I was in a good mood when it started; very promising episode. They even got a Dawn of the Dead reference in (double promising) as well as a Netflix mention (promising for their pocket books, though not entirely surprising, as Netflix would advertise on the back of a corpse if they could).
We-e-e-ell it all went downhill from there. Another bad episode. Another bad script. At least they seemed to find a solution for the fact that Benson (a bored-looking Mariska Hargitay) and Stabler (eyebrow-always-raised Chris Meloni) don’t really seem to want to act any more: hire guest stars that are even worse than the series regulars.
Now I’ve given Jonathan Strauss his props for casting in the past (you can even follow his butt on Twitter @JSCasting), so maybe he won’t mind if I’m critical for a bit. In fact, I’ll first point out the good ones, just to show I care:
Melissa Sagemiller continues to impress whenever she pops up. She’s got the looks and the intelligence to pull off anything snappy. Probably about time she had her own show. And Ryan Hurst, who played the temperamental bearded Doug Loveless (“Even your name says you can’t keep a girlfriend.”) also showed he’s got some nice chops. I like how he just sort of made himself at home in the interview room. Dude had a cool “I don’t give a rat’s ass” gleam in his eye.
It was also nice to see Michael Boatman turn up. The old Hamburger Hill vet brings a nice swagger to a suit-strutting lawyer. That dude doesn’t age either.
Kathleen McNenny over-over-overplayed the deceptive-but-innocent-yet-crazy Mrs. Bullard. And I get that a large, large part of the issue is the script (Daniel Truly, I’m looking at you), and that if you, as an actor, are handed a pile of crap you just do with it what you can. I do get that. But this was just bad. And she knew it was bad. You could see it in her freaked-out eyes. Tom Irwin (playing Jerry Bullard) also went to the wrong side of nutty, especially at the end. Seriously, his crazy glazed look was like what you see at the end of a bad B movie where the respectable businessman is suddenly revealed to be the serial killer, and he finally gets to reveal his plan in a freaky, drooling, madbabble psycho whisper. And I would have gotten away with it if it hadn’t been for you nosy kids! Just completely over the edge.
But the worst has to go to Rose McGowan. And Rose McGowan’s puffed-up Linday Lohanalike lips. And Rose McGowan’s utter inability to act. I get that she’s a “name,” and Law & Order: SVU likes nothing better than to parade B-list names in front of us each episode in order to try and draw—
You know what? Just stop. Elizabeth Mitchell? No. Terence Howard? Please no. And no Debra Messing, and no … freaking … Countess LuAnn de Lesseps.
They’re like these little ponies that are being trotted out in order to distract from the fact that the wheels have completely come off the bus. This show has serious problems, people! There was a point in the episode in which Stabler says, “He (crazy Aldo) can still be our killer.” Really, Stabler? Because at the time, the victim wasn’t even dead. Aldo can’t be the killer because no one died. Hell, the victim ended up getting better! No one died until the very end when the victim decided he wanted to do away with the twincest* that was keeping him separated from the (new) love of his life. Which episode was Meloni reading from?
And yes, this is probably an editing snafu as much as anything. But … come on, man.
Am I still bent that Munch (Richard Belzer) hasn’t returned to the show? Probably. But that doesn’t excuse it for being crap.
What did I like? I mentioned the knife in the groin, right?
I dunno. Meloni was decent this episode. And hey, the Stabler/Benson shippers got a chance to see the objects of their affections holding hands whilst touring a swingers club. (The Swing Set. Okay, that’s not a bad name.)
I just have very little good to say about this show these days.
Does anyone know when this season ends?
Love me or hate me, you have to agree with me. And follow me on Twitter! That’s @Axechucker, you buncha … twincesters!
*Please see Game of Thrones if you want to really see twincest done the right way. I get that it’s a great word to use, but it’s been done, and by far better people than by Law & Order: SVU scribes.