THE BACHELOR (2011) Season 15 Episode 4 Review

THE BACHELOR (2011) Season 15 Episode 4 – We here at Daemon’s TV haven’t been following this season of The Bachelor, but it is clearly time to jump into the proverbial pool. Because now the insanity has truly begun.

My love for reality TV exists on a number of levels. I’m a sucker for any kind of contest-anything that, in the end, can show me a winner and a loser. I’m also drawn to the so-called “human experiment” where we get to see regular people forced into highly irregular situations. Shows like SURVIVOR, things that offer both, suck me right in.

Train wreck shows like THE REAL HOUSEWIVES, or JERSEY SHORE (like what are they even doing?) set my teeth on edge, though they too serve a purpose by showcasing people who we’re all grateful to not actually know in real life. Not to crack too hard on the BRIDAL PLASTY cheering section, but some of those shows feel a little like some camera decided to seek out America’s lowest common denominators for the simple purpose of putting Darwinism to the test.

The Bachelor is a chaotic mix of ALL of that. It’s competition-where the prize is a husband. It’s human drama-where the premise is one gigantic, tear-laden catfight. And it’s a tardelicious train wreck-because. well, you only have to watch one episode to see.

Let me set up the principal:

Brad Womack has done this before. Brad is the infamous Bachelor from season 11 who left his final two contestants standing dumbfounded after he decided neither was going to be good enough for him. 25 ladies in-25 ladies out. In typical Hollywood fashion, ABC decided that after three years Brad deserved a second chance-at love, at staying in a posh mansion, at being the center of attention for 30 (they upped the ante this time) attention-starved, needy, fragile, camera-seeking debutantes.

Now I’m not going to say Brad is stupid. He clearly is not, as he owns and runs a very successful company, and was smart enough to know America loves to give second chances. But if anyone is in need of daily affirmations it’s this guy. Brad gets skittish whenever a woman even looks as though she’s not the happiest creature in the world when basking in his presence. He also doesn’t know how to say “No,” as evidenced by the fact that he’s never met a pair of lips he could refuse (a weakness that I suspect will not avail him well in his lifetime). Also, he brought his freaking shrink along with him. THAT inspires confidence.

Some people say Brad is manipulative, but I don’t buy that; in fact, I think he believes every “connection” he makes. His Aw, shucks Texas drawl and his sincere eyes don’t hold one ounce of deception. I just think he changes his mind. All the time. He’s also a “fixer,” one of those guys who needs to know he can be there to soothe away every worry and solve every problem that’s set on his doorstep, so even though his mouth says, “No drama,” his reactionary actions tell a different tale.

Enough of him. Let’s get to the ladies, shall we? By the time The Bachelor Season 15 Episode 4 ended, it had already set aside most of the pretenders for Brad’s affections. I’ll short-list the ladies (top five) who have at least a stone’s throw chance at grabbing that man-prey:

1. Michelle: This fragile-looking Denise Richards lookalike is possibly the closest thing the show has to full-on crazy, so they’ve got to keep her. Plus, Brad can keep fixing her. She will stay until the end unless she self-destructs in some entertaining and possibly violent way, which would be awesome. And how great is it she gave herself a black eye in her sleep?

2. Chantel: More drama is what Brad truly wants, so that’s what he’ll get. Chantel looks like Shannen Doherty but with better teeth. She cries great big crocodile tears. I only favor her slightly because she had the moxie to slap Brad. He liked it.

3. Emily: The coal miner’s daughter with the bleach-blond hair seems cool-headed enough to be able to wait things out whilst the other drama flashes around her. Plus next episode she has to drive a race car (her dead ex drove a race car), which will give Brad some sort of drama to fix. The fact that she looks like a Playboy Bunny can’t hurt.

4. Alli: Because having that kind of figure (POW!) and pouty expression (baww) will not usually get you kicked off of reality TV shows.

5. Shawntel: Flying under the radar for now, but she has a conniving look to her. I think she’ll pick her spot and make the most of it. She’s my dark horse.

Prediction for next episode of The Bachelor Season 15 Episode 5: Ashley H. is gone. Yes, this little psychotic bundle of high-maintenance dentistry has drama, but she makes Brad even more skittish than he already is. I can’t see him hanging on for long. Boot!

More next week! I can’t bloody wait.